I finally found the path I was looking for.

 

Well this is for all who are out there still living in the dark…

I was once lost and I found my way…let me say it was no easy thing. I hit bottom and bounced again and again…a lot of people say they are waiting for their loved one to hit bottom, but the reality is bottom is different for all who survive the fall. As for me I spent many years in and out of prison and at the age of 30 I started thinking I need to slow down…And I still went to prison. What I’m saying is if you have a loved one who still walks with the devil. Let him travel on his road…this might be hard to do but you are not going to change their life. There comes a time when that person will get on the right path. I wish I could tell you a miracle cure but I can’t…love him and be there for him…only if you see the changes…changes that last awhile for you to build trust. We as addicts can and will lie cheat and steal…most addicts I know and have seen that there master manipulators. Do not forget that…Your love one must prove that he is doing well. The big book of AA. Says we are a day away from using…I have over 4 years clean from drugs and the Lord has delivered me from my addictions today…you are by no means alone. This country makes so much money on the prison. And they account on re-offenders.

I truly wish I could tell you more but the message is pray and ask the Lord to help your son/daughter. Find his way home alive…

Just a poam i wrote in Prison..true thoughts

Wrote this poem in Prison on 11/7/07 1:27am.

 

Waiting

Looking threw the bars

Looking out the open fields so near but yet so far.

Wondering about my friends out there

What there doing now.

Wishing I could be with them today.

My strength is my memories of yesterday

I keep them close I keep them near.

I keep them, to keep down the fear.

For every day I awake and pray

For the Lord to take my soul away.

I know life with him is much better than life behind theses walls,

I know someday he will take me away

I pray that day will come today.

But if not I’ll do my best

And wait another day.

And listen for him to say

I’m taking you away today my friend.

Because today is the end.

The rewards of living free and clean

Well good day all,

I have not been on top of my Blog for a bit…I flew back to MN. To visit. It was great to get away and see my 9 year old son Connor…Things went well I did not do too much because of the weather 27 below..But it was ok I spent a lot of time with my son. It was kind of a worry of mine to go back to MN. That’s where I was in prison and I did not want to run into any old friends so I went in on the down low…

 

Well I am grateful for the holy spirit for keeping me on track  I’m still clean and have no urge to use and my trip was proof that for today I will not use ever again !!

 

I got to meet in person a couple that has been writing me for a couple of years…they are a blessing to me and there  very secure in there Faith. We went out to eat and it was a blessed day.

 

I’m still struggling with my anxieties and depression but it is what it is…I’m trying to get over it; My DR. put me on meds. I was always against meds but they seen to be working. If you have any reservations on taking meds…I say try it, it can’t hurt…

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways…I’m a new person. And it feels good.

Last week I went to my parole officers and I can’t tell you how great it was not to be scared and tripping out hoping I did not get a UA  or her finding out I was up to no good, And believe me I’m not a new bee..I have done parole hiding things but these past 11 months I have nothing to worry about…no sweat seeing my Parole office…She told me I’m her last worry…that really made my day…It’s such a good feeling to not have to lie and watch my back. I pray every one on Parole can feel the same way…It’s not easy but I surround myself with positive people and support groups