Why do excons returne to prison, after we are realesed ??

 

My heart has been weighing heavy lately and thought of all you lost souls out there, I also think and pray daily about all my friends who have returned to prison..It pains me to think about all the evil and peoples old ways coming to the surface. I heard nothing but I’m never going back to prison when I was behind the walls and as I look at the DOC web site I see so many of my friends I did bible studies and friends who I thought that really had a plan and ideas, goals so when they got out they could stay out.

But I know firsthand it’s easier said than done. I have made more bad choices then I care to admit and I know that the only thing that has kept me from violating my parole is the walk I walk with the lord. My mother is the second reason witch comes to this point..I have a church and a great support network of powerful prayer warriors on my side.

I think that these friends of mine who I truly believe that wanted to stay clean and stay out of prison where missing one huge factor in there re-entry..No support group, No friends and family who they could just sit and talk to. I do not expect a lot of parents and others to understand what someone who has spent years behind the walls feel upon release..But for myself I talked and communicated with my mother and pastor and my mentors the feelings of not being able to be in crowds and not being able to voice my feelings.

.See feelings in side prison are dangerous..We cannot show feelings or show weakness..It’s just not possible surrounded by people just looking to pray on the weak..So we hold it in and after so long it becomes habit to not talk and not let our feelings show..Yes it is not right but let me tell you it is the way it goes..And after we come out and people honestly try to help we find it hard. We have spent so many years bottling up our anger, feelings and trying to forget the past. That we truly forget how to trust and interact with others..

I truly believe that’s why so many of us convicts return to prison..We cannot open up and share our thoughts and goals and feelings..Some prisons are worse than others and I have been in maximum security prisons most of my life and let me tell you..I thought one day at a time because I might not live to see the next..I understand this is harsh and it’s hard to comprehend but I’m telling you all this is the way it is…

My point I’m making is if you have a loved one coming out of the system, I feel you must let them move on there on time, please do not hit them with what are you going to do now..Too soon, try to understand that they are fighting for their life day and night, even though they are not behind the walls anymore. I know it might be hard to watch your love one sit in his room but think of it like this, he has been in a cell and its comfortable to be in a small area and have control of his surroundings and let him adjust on his own..Show him your love and understanding but try not to put too much on his plate..That will overload a convict so fast and shut down and us as people want to feel safe and comfortable and we want to know our surroundings and if you try to fast to change his thought pattern..You might have a runner on your hands.

It’s not that we like or want to go back to prison. I hear so much he must like it in there..This is so not true the fact is he is comfortable in that surrounding and the stress of the outside and the responsibilities were too much…please try to understand we need time to adjust and it may be a month or years but know this..We all want to be free from the prison and we want to enjoy life..So he or she will come around but please don’t try to rush it, give it to the Lord and he will work, mold your love one into a new man..Rember the lord’s time is not our time….well that’s my thought for today..God Bless you all.

STOP hurting the people you love

# 2. In my series.

I think back to the days I ran wild on the streets of so many states, thinking that if I moved, things would be different. I never realized ‘till I was in my 30’s that a change of a state or a new environment did nothing to me—or for me. I had to change my thoughts, beliefs, and my choices. I was only killing myself and my loved ones.

That brings me to what I’ve been thinking about lately—what I’ve been dwelling on as I travel this new journey of living on the outside and trying to get my broken, messed up life back in order.

What I’m getting at is this. If you are living with a loved one and refusing to follow their rules, you better get prepared to live a pretty hard life on the streets when they finally get fed up enough to ask—and insist—that you leave their house. You will find yourself in a cruel world out there; I’m sure some of you have tasted these experiences and know firsthand that I’m telling the truth. So, get with the program, dude (or dudette). If you can afford to pay your own bills and live independently on your own, then go and do it. But if you are dependent upon the goodwill and financial resources of loved ones to make it day-by-day, then I caution you to stop looking your gift horse in the mouth. What I mean is, stop bucking the system and be thankful for the opportunity you have to turn your life around. Be thankful for the roof over your head, the food on your plate, the running water to bathe in and drink, and most important, for the people in your life who care enough about you to keep giving you chances to change.

But the chances can run out.

Stop The Insanity And Surprise You’r Self And You’r Loved Ones

This Blog Is The First Of A Five Part Series.

Part # 1.

As I sit and ponder my future, I come to so many walls, so many “what ifs” and “whys” and “when’s.” I think that’s normal for someone wanting to change their life around, someone trying to do things different. So, I find myself dealing with these issues one by one. And I try to keep it in my head that this is my life, and there are thoughts of the past—a past I cannot change or undo. And I have no plan to go back to that life style again, yet I find that if I think about something long enough it can overtake my mind. I can make the smallest issue become the biggest problem in my life, if I dwell on it long enough.

And I’ve got to stop dwelling on negative things. Period. But that’s a hard habit to break.

I thought for many years that the glass was half empty with a crack in it…and I just dulled those thoughts with drugs and material things to keep my mind at bay. You see, I didn’t grow up under normal circumstances. I started running away from home at the age of 13, I was on the streets and living the life of an outlaw, so I tended to have a negative outlook on most things. Life was not that great and I was not a nice and happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I took what I wanted and did what I needed to do to survive. On the streets, people take advantage of weakness. Hurting others did not mean a thing to me, and it seemed I had no conscience. But like I said, I was doing what I could to survive. The streets can break the hardest men and bring you to your knees—making thoughts of taking your life a reality.