The rewards of living free and clean

Well good day all,

I have not been on top of my Blog for a bit…I flew back to MN. To visit. It was great to get away and see my 9 year old son Connor…Things went well I did not do too much because of the weather 27 below..But it was ok I spent a lot of time with my son. It was kind of a worry of mine to go back to MN. That’s where I was in prison and I did not want to run into any old friends so I went in on the down low…

 

Well I am grateful for the holy spirit for keeping me on track  I’m still clean and have no urge to use and my trip was proof that for today I will not use ever again !!

 

I got to meet in person a couple that has been writing me for a couple of years…they are a blessing to me and there  very secure in there Faith. We went out to eat and it was a blessed day.

 

I’m still struggling with my anxieties and depression but it is what it is…I’m trying to get over it; My DR. put me on meds. I was always against meds but they seen to be working. If you have any reservations on taking meds…I say try it, it can’t hurt…

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways…I’m a new person. And it feels good.

Last week I went to my parole officers and I can’t tell you how great it was not to be scared and tripping out hoping I did not get a UA  or her finding out I was up to no good, And believe me I’m not a new bee..I have done parole hiding things but these past 11 months I have nothing to worry about…no sweat seeing my Parole office…She told me I’m her last worry…that really made my day…It’s such a good feeling to not have to lie and watch my back. I pray every one on Parole can feel the same way…It’s not easy but I surround myself with positive people and support groups

help keeping me sane in the coming months

Well good day all, this is off my 5 part series, but I thought I would give all of you an update on my health. On 8/30/10 on a Sunday I received a MRI, It only took 5 months to get one but thank the lord I got one, Well after the radiologist read it he sent me down to the emergency room and said my disk was blown and was very surprised I was walking…I informed him I was not walking too often..Any way I sat in the urgent care till 3 am and was saw by an orthopedic surgeon who said I needed surgery, he wanted me to be seen by his boss the next day, well that went well, I guess. He told me a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo that I had no idea what it meant, except I needed a operation, I asked for another appointment next week so I could bring my mother and my Pastor, My pastor has had 35 surgeries on his back. What it comes down to is I’m getting surgery, now I’m asking for a favor from anyone out there. I’m looking for an old X-Box. Nothing special they have upgraded the X-Box and other gaming devices so much the old one is not even sold in stores anymore. Pawn shops Carrie them.  But I’m asking for a donation or a gift. If you or one of your children have a old one laying around I sure could use it, I’m going to be laid up in my bed healing for some time and need something to keep my mind off the pain and there is only so much reading a guy can do. So if you have one or know someone who does it would be great to get it. My money is very tight but I might be able to help with shipping fees…I thought I would ask  around so thank you for your time reading this and seeing what you can do, Thank you very much and God Bless you all..

When the tough gets going the Holy Spirit starts moving in.

As I sit and ponder the past few months I truly see the lord working in me and my family. I cannot begin to list the miracles I have seen and bin apart of. The lord has walked with me and bin by my side so much. I looked up the Department of corrections in MN. And 9 out of ten of my friends are back behind the walls, it pains me to see they have made wrong choices in their life and I pray for then so much. I wish they could feel the love that I do from my support groups, my church and my true friends. But as we all know the lord has different plans for all of us. And I’m so very thankful that the lord has my back.

It’s not easy out here to live a crime free and drug free life. I believe we all want support, love and to feel accepted in our surroundings. For me that was one of my major challenges. I would get out and try to hang with “”positive”” people but I found it very hard to stay in contact with people who I had nothing in common with. I felt like I was an outcast and did not fit in. And eventually I went back to my old friends and my old ways…I wanted to feel accepted and I wanted so very much to fit in and be loved and accepted. And I was not getting those feelings with the peers I was with, so of course I went to where I felt comfortable. I know this must sound crazy to some but love and acceptance is what I needed the most. It’s so much easier to deal with curve balls thrown at me when I have a friend there to give me a hug and reassure me it will get better. And better it does get. It might take a few to get it but we all know that our time is way different  then the lords time…Me myself I want things now and I want them fixed now not later.

I keep going and pressing on and some days I see the light at the end of the tunnel and other days it seems to vanish away. I have faith that I will make it and I will give it 100% of my life to make it. I was not put here by the lord to be caged and locked up. I get so many comments and prayers that it makes me feel that I’m finally doing something right, I hope when I comment back to those hurting souls that my words help them and let them know that life is hard and not always fair and the Devil is always at our back door trying to get in and use our weakness to break us down and take us from the lord and his glory…Keep your head up and keep going it will get better and as the saying goes sometimes it gets worse before it get better….My love and prayers go out to all of you and I hope you can keep going when it gets tough

try the Lord for 30 days if you’re not satisfied you can get a full refund…

As the lord works out my direction, I feel his hand on my shoulder directing me to the path he wants me to take. I feel the need to help other addicts, drunks and lost sheep. I also hope and pray that my testimony can give some comfort to the parents of lost children. I’m living proof that God Does allow U-turns. I truly feel that all the life experiences I have can help someone…Let me tell you a little somthin somthin…When I was young going through the juvenile court system and counselors, I felt they had no credibility at all. They knew nothing of squatting under the Golden Gate Bridge, Hustling drugs to survive. Don’t get me wrong they were educated in their field but most of them came from upper middle class homes…And I could see it in the souls…so they had no credibility with me..I think to this day that if someone like myself had talked to me and explained some life rules it would of helped me on my journey…I know the lord had me travel that road for a reason  and I am who I am today because of it. But it was nothing nice…I hope and pray for the youth of today, Life is hard and can tear you up quicker than anything…But The Lord can provide and give our souls some rest and reassure us  that it is brighter on the other side of the fence. I say try the Lord for 30 days if you’re not satisfied you can get a full refund…