Apr.9th 20101

Well this is nothing nice. I wish I could tell u that life is bowl of oranges but some of got the pits. In the last few weeks I have had surgery and I waited so long for the surgery it did nerve damage to my nerve on my leg. It’s nothing nice. I had my SSI hearing on March 23.i did not get a answer and was told me it would take a few weeks to hear from them…it’s always hurry up and wait !! The lord id truly testing me. I think of Job and his trials…to be honest it does help but I’m scared to take on those trials…I have 56 months clean and I came to relive…If I wanted to get high, it’s not possible, I know no one who uses and I don’t even knee where to score and I thank the lord for that. My mom has truly blessed me and I keep it going one day at a time…even a second a day…I get so depressed and just get lost…I do know the lord does have a plan for me. That is what keeps me going everyday…

I wish I could tell you how to fix you and yours…but I can’t and it pains me to say so. I’m 39 and I took the lord in my life and I hit bottom several. Times I bounced and bounced a few more times…I believe you have to let your love ones live to the best of their own drum…and to be 100% real some might make it .I know this is  not a good subject but you cannot  lead a horse to water and make him drink

I don’t know if my words mean anything …I right about how I feel and  I write as I see it..