Stop The Insanity And Surprise You’r Self And You’r Loved Ones

This Blog Is The First Of A Five Part Series.

Part # 1.

As I sit and ponder my future, I come to so many walls, so many “what ifs” and “whys” and “when’s.” I think that’s normal for someone wanting to change their life around, someone trying to do things different. So, I find myself dealing with these issues one by one. And I try to keep it in my head that this is my life, and there are thoughts of the past—a past I cannot change or undo. And I have no plan to go back to that life style again, yet I find that if I think about something long enough it can overtake my mind. I can make the smallest issue become the biggest problem in my life, if I dwell on it long enough.

And I’ve got to stop dwelling on negative things. Period. But that’s a hard habit to break.

I thought for many years that the glass was half empty with a crack in it…and I just dulled those thoughts with drugs and material things to keep my mind at bay. You see, I didn’t grow up under normal circumstances. I started running away from home at the age of 13, I was on the streets and living the life of an outlaw, so I tended to have a negative outlook on most things. Life was not that great and I was not a nice and happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I took what I wanted and did what I needed to do to survive. On the streets, people take advantage of weakness. Hurting others did not mean a thing to me, and it seemed I had no conscience. But like I said, I was doing what I could to survive. The streets can break the hardest men and bring you to your knees—making thoughts of taking your life a reality.

Pain managment, A blessing from Christ.

Well all my brothers and sisters in Christ, I have been blessed, Today I’m going to a pain management clinic and its taking me almost five months to get this appointment, And I’m scheduled for a MRI sometime this month. Praise the lord. Thanks to my home church South Haltom they are blessing me with help and support, I cannot even began to tell you how much love and support I have been given from my loved ones from my church, …. I want to be fixed and live, walk and carry on a normal life. I hurt so bad and this effects my mental well being so much, I’m learning jumping threw these hoops and  5 months later that it pays  off to be patience and fallow threw there rules and walk there steps. But it is paying off. So to you out there with medical problems and feel like life is getting hard my advice is to stick to your program and take advantage of everything the state has to offer, Don’t get me wrong its nothing nice to jump or crawl through the systems hoops but it does work. Unless you are one of the fortunate ones who can afford insurance, I stay Faithful and I stay clean and the Lord does reward me… Don’t even think for a second I have not been in so much pain that the thought of going and scoring some dope from the corner has not entered my mind, But I read my bible and pray and talk to my support group almost daily…Keep your head up and try to walk tall and keep your Faith strong it does eventually work out..God does bless all of you. If you are having some of these issues please get back to me and let’s talk, I need all the advice I can get…This way of live is nothing nice and I know the Lord did not make me and walk by my side for all these years to let me rot in some bed. I have my faith and my 45 months drug free…And it feels great.