STOP hurting the people you love

# 2. In my series.

I think back to the days I ran wild on the streets of so many states, thinking that if I moved, things would be different. I never realized ‘till I was in my 30’s that a change of a state or a new environment did nothing to me—or for me. I had to change my thoughts, beliefs, and my choices. I was only killing myself and my loved ones.

That brings me to what I’ve been thinking about lately—what I’ve been dwelling on as I travel this new journey of living on the outside and trying to get my broken, messed up life back in order.

What I’m getting at is this. If you are living with a loved one and refusing to follow their rules, you better get prepared to live a pretty hard life on the streets when they finally get fed up enough to ask—and insist—that you leave their house. You will find yourself in a cruel world out there; I’m sure some of you have tasted these experiences and know firsthand that I’m telling the truth. So, get with the program, dude (or dudette). If you can afford to pay your own bills and live independently on your own, then go and do it. But if you are dependent upon the goodwill and financial resources of loved ones to make it day-by-day, then I caution you to stop looking your gift horse in the mouth. What I mean is, stop bucking the system and be thankful for the opportunity you have to turn your life around. Be thankful for the roof over your head, the food on your plate, the running water to bathe in and drink, and most important, for the people in your life who care enough about you to keep giving you chances to change.

But the chances can run out.

Stop The Insanity And Surprise You’r Self And You’r Loved Ones

This Blog Is The First Of A Five Part Series.

Part # 1.

As I sit and ponder my future, I come to so many walls, so many “what ifs” and “whys” and “when’s.” I think that’s normal for someone wanting to change their life around, someone trying to do things different. So, I find myself dealing with these issues one by one. And I try to keep it in my head that this is my life, and there are thoughts of the past—a past I cannot change or undo. And I have no plan to go back to that life style again, yet I find that if I think about something long enough it can overtake my mind. I can make the smallest issue become the biggest problem in my life, if I dwell on it long enough.

And I’ve got to stop dwelling on negative things. Period. But that’s a hard habit to break.

I thought for many years that the glass was half empty with a crack in it…and I just dulled those thoughts with drugs and material things to keep my mind at bay. You see, I didn’t grow up under normal circumstances. I started running away from home at the age of 13, I was on the streets and living the life of an outlaw, so I tended to have a negative outlook on most things. Life was not that great and I was not a nice and happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I took what I wanted and did what I needed to do to survive. On the streets, people take advantage of weakness. Hurting others did not mean a thing to me, and it seemed I had no conscience. But like I said, I was doing what I could to survive. The streets can break the hardest men and bring you to your knees—making thoughts of taking your life a reality.

God Allows U-Turns and Setting Boundaries for a Former Bad Guy

Well, it’s been a couple of weeks since I launched my blog and I think I’m ready to take the next step and officially announce Bad Guy Goes Good to a broader audience—namely the readers of my Mom’s books. My name is Chris Smith, and my Mom is Allison Bottke. I know some of you have read her writing over the years, she has 25 published books, both non-fiction and fiction, including; Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, Setting Boundaries with Aging Parents and the God Allows U-Turns true short story compilation series.

Yes, I’m the “adult child” she wrote about in Setting Boundaries, and I want to thank all of you who wrote to me during the years I was in prison. Your cards and letters meant more to me than you could ever know. You can read more about me and why I’ve created this blog on my Profile by clicking on About Chris Smith at the top left of my blog Home Page.

I’m excited to announce that I’ll be heading up the “new” God Allows U-Turns outreach as we begin to collect true short stories from people whose lives have been changed. You can read more about this on the God Allows U-Turns section of my mom’s website. I’m looking forward to meeting many new friends on this journey and I invite you to send your comments to my blogs and I’m planning to respond to everyone who writes.

Allison Bottke and her son, Chris Smith - June 2010